Stats: 31 / 5'10" / 142 lbs.
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Status: In a Relationship
Jason opens up about his obsession for French toothpaste, why he's looking for a different Starbucks, and why it's perfectly OK to steal toilet paper.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Where are you originally from?
Jason Verlaine: Boston. I always dreamed about living in NYC -- it's an amazing city and I couldn't ever imagine leaving here. I love the energy here, even when it's hot and smells like trash.
Jason Verlaine: Maybe I could live in Paris or something for a time, but I would need to still have an apartment in NYC.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: That's a hell of a commute!
Jason Verlaine: Yeah, but I like this French toothpaste called Fluocaril. I can't find it in the US, so I have it shipped. Is that high maintenance?
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What makes it better than, say, Colgate?
Jason Verlaine: Michael Stipe uses it. I have a crush on him.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: You can apparently get Fluocaril for $12.50 / tube on Amazon.
Jason Verlaine: You can, but it's in the old packaging. I'm not sure why, but that makes me nervous. I just am not sure how long it's been sitting around... and to be honest, I like the idea of having someone in Paris send it to me. It feels so unnecessary, which is hot.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Some Frenchman with a beret and a striped shirt? Smoking a cigarette?
Jason Verlaine: No shirt.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Are you a full-time comic, or is this a "I love doing it but it ain't paying the bills yet" gig?
Jason Verlaine: The latter -- I perform pretty often around NYC and love making videos for YouTube, DailyMotion and CNN's iReport, but sadly my performances don't pay enough for French toothpaste yet.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What's the day job?
Jason Verlaine: Internet marketing stuff and some database management.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: So, I found you when I was researching an article for another blog site on commercials -- you were lamenting that the Epiduo kid hadn't added you on Facebook. Has that changed?
Jason Verlaine: NO! Outrageous! I just saw the ad and thought we should be friends, and he still has not accepted my request. You know, this is Facebook's fault.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: How so?
Jason Verlaine: They use the term "friends", but they should just say "connections" or something so people wouldn't be so crazy about it. I don't need to meet the Epiduo kid; I just want to look at his life from afar. Is that so bad? He can look at mine too, and I am very prolific on Facebook. In a sense, I am providing value for him.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Would you camp out with him for acne cream? Or Jonas Brothers tickets?
Jason Verlaine: I would love to camp out with him for any reason... though Jonas Brothers is pushing it. With a few martinis I could do it.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Looking over your YouTube page, I also noticed you're having issues with your favorite barista.
Jason Verlaine: Oh God, she is in love with me, but she started wearing this ridiculous perfume. Honestly I lose my thirst everytime I walk in there.
Jason Verlaine: One of my friends runs a company, CBIHatePerfume.com. I love his philosophy on perfume: it should not be a force field around you, but rather something subtle. I should have to be biting you (hello Robert Pattinson, I am available) in order to smell it.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What kind of perfume / cologne do you prefer?
Jason Verlaine: I wear "cbmusk" and another one called "Here Piggy", both by my friend Christopher Brosius. "cbmusk" makes some people vomit; it smells a little like dirt. I love it.
Jason Verlaine: "Here Piggy" smells like rubber, maybe some copy toner, and a little love.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: So, basically, the office supply closet.
Jason Verlaine: I may have been there once before. Oh wait, it was the shoe stock room when I worked at Aldo in, like, 1996.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Hollywood Video in '98.
Jason Verlaine: What is going on with Hollywood Video? Are people still driving to stores to rent? I use Netflix now - I love it! I just gave my boyfriend joint access to our account. Big step for us.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What's on your Netflix queue?
Jason Verlaine: I am wrapping up "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", and I have a movie called "Who the Hell is Pete Doherty?". Also, "Grey's Anatomy", "Ugly Betty", "Helvetica."
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: How did you get into comedy?
Jason Verlaine: I started doing some monologues and stories about 2 years ago. I decided to make some videos, and my friends convinced me to turn that into a live act.
Jason Verlaine: Honestly, the most fun I have in my life is when I am performing, especially my little songs. They're so much fun, and I love to perform them.
Jason Verlaine: I'm doing a one-man show in November, and am writing new songs for it now... can't wait to finish and sing them. One is totally about the Epiduo kid debacle.
Jason Verlaine: Basically, I feel like an alien living on this planet, and the stage/video is sort of like my home planet -- where everything is in it's right place.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: There's one video here about Manhunt, I see.
Jason Verlaine: Oh yes -- I made that one last year. It's about people who don't feel the need to be truthful with their photos.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What? People on Manhunt LIE about their age and photos?
Jason Verlaine: I mean, seriously, get a digital camera or something. No excuse for 10 year old images.
Jason Verlaine: I have found that being "in my 30s", I am now old enough to date people who want to date someone a little older. When I was, like, 28 -- I was still too young. As soon as I turned 30 it changed -- probably just because of how people search on sites.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What's Jason doing when he's not writing new material and
stalking persuing the Epiduo guy?
Jason Verlaine: I see a lot of live music in NYC, I like going to see other people's comedy shows... I love martini bars and gourmet pizza.... and I love hot dogs. There's a place here that serves two hot dogs with mac and cheese and chili -- it's a good cleanser.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: That sounds... rather evil.
Jason Verlaine: It is evil. But, you know, it goes right through you. Too graphic?
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Well, it's a good transition. Are you still stealing toilet paper?
Jason Verlaine: YES!
Jason Verlaine: I only take it from nice places, where they have good quality and are overcharging for drinks. Mom and pop shops can relax. I used to always go into the Ritz-Carlton lobby bathroom and take a few rolls.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Do you find that the toilet paper at "nicer" places is better quality? In a Charmin vs. Always Save kind of way?
Jason Verlaine: Well they are dealing with people who think they have more delicate private parts, so they cater to a certain degree of douche-baggery. That's good for people like me who take stuff.
Jason Verlaine: I just realized; I am sort of like Robin Hood. God, that's great.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What would be Jason Verlaine's dream gig?
Jason Verlaine: Bowery Ballroom. It's a rock venue, so I would do some poetry, rock out with a full band, and then end with a rendition of Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs. Or maybe sing White Rabbit with Joseph Arthur (my other favorite singer) on stage with me. And Michael Stipe brushing my teeth between verses.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: With the French toothpaste.
Jason Verlaine: Yes, yes. And he would be shirtless. Or maybe I am shirtless and he has a blazer or something.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Unconventional... but then again, you're an unconventional performer!
Jason Verlaine: Oh, and I would need some groupies! And a smoking hot personal assistant to help me.
Jason Verlaine: God, I am CRAVING a Coke right now. I have to stop with that.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: What are your vices?
Jason Verlaine: Coca Cola, American Spirit cigarettes, Hendricks Gin, the East River. And Joseph Arthur. Or, wait, was it Robert Pattinson? So many men in my life.
Jason Verlaine: Oh, and Pellegrino. I always have some on hand. I like the bubbles; makes my tummy tingle a little bit.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Boxers / briefs / neither / either?
Jason Verlaine: boxer briefs -- briefs are too tight and boxers make me feel like everything is all over the place. I like some level of organization.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Anything I'm forgetting?
Jason Verlaine: You (and your readers) should come hang out in NYC for my one man show in November. It's going to be lovely.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Is Robert Pattinson invited?
Jason Verlaine: Oh, God. I would have to reorient the whole show. A makeout scene would definitely be in order; maybe he would make me a vampire.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Would you want to be a vampire?
Jason Verlaine: OH YES. I love to bite, first of all -- so i'm already in position to start the work. I have the experience, I just need the vampire venom and the immortality. Details... Robert and I will work it out.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: I... don't know if he's really a vampire.
Jason Verlaine: Yeah, they like to say that in the news. But -- I know he really is. Please dont tell me otherwise; I have a lot of energy vested in this fantasy.
Troy D, Hunk Du Jour: Lastly, what did you think when you were asked to be featured on HunkDuJour.com?
Jason Verlaine: I was excited at first because of the French-sounding name, then thought I may have to take my clothes off.